Here Are the Young Men
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Here Are the Young Men

Here Are the Young Men note: I’m not going to lecture you about attending movie theaters, since we’re all adults. Here Are the Young Men But I will note that I saw this at a drive-in late last night, and that Disney is reporting that the film earned $750,000 in preview screenings. Even noting 62% nationwide capacity, that still would have been around $1.25 million in preview grosses in 100% of the country which (using plausible comparisons) would have been an opening of between $13 million and $21 million for the weekend. At the moment, we might expect a $7 million-$13 million Fri-Sun debut.

Putting aside the circumstances of its release, both in terms of being delayed for over two years (mostly due to shenanigans related to Disney DIS -1.9% buying Fox in mid-2019) and being the first “major” studio release dropped into nationwide theatrical release after months pandemic-related theater closures, The New Mutants is a miserable motion picture. It’s a monotonous, redundant and irrelevant fantasy flick that fails to commit to being a teen melodrama, a YA fantasy or a horror movie, instead offering half-assed components of all three. Despite a strong cast, the all-too-rare presence of an LGBTQIA romance between two lead characters and a few moments of visual inventiveness, Josh Boone and Knate Lee’s The New Mutants boils down to being, yes, a terrible feature-length prequel for a sequel that absolutely no one will ever want to see.

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